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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Love Obsession!

Signs of an Obsessive Relationship, Help Dealing with Obsessed Partner

Are you with a clingy lover? Read on to find out if your partner's infatuation with you is something to be concerned about...

Falling in love can send you in a tizzy. It is common to suddenly develop deep emotional bonds and passionate feelings for someone. However, after the initial rush and excitement of a new romance has subsided, one partner may notice that the other's behaviour has changed significantly. Petty arguments become much more significant. He/she may become more demanding of your time and attention. Before you realise it, you may be caught in an unhealthy obsessive relationship.

Sometimes an obsession is just temporary and the relationship returns to normal, but other times the obsessed partner will exhibit signs of emotional instability and possessiveness.

Here are some warning signs of an obsessive relationship.

Need to keep in touch
It is not unusual for a couple to call each other frequently or send personal messages to each other throughout the day. But when one partner leaves numerous messages knowing that the other person is not at home to return them, you need to be careful. You may notice that your lover sends numerous emails in spite of meeting on a regular basis and if by chance you can't pick up his/her call your partner gets angry. Gifts may suddenly escalate in intimacy. You could be gifted expensive jewellery or intimate apparel. This is a sure sign that you're with an obsessed partner.

Not respecting boundary lines
This is a classic warning sign during the non-committal dating phase. You might tell your partner not to call on your home line after 11 pm or not to visit you at work. The next day, he/she will suddenly call little past midnight disturbing your entire family. The problem is that often the person will think it is humorous to violate your rules. If your lover constantly doesn't respect your privacy or boundaries you have set, you need to keep an eye on him/her.

Snooping around
Obsessive people often try to find out the as much as possible about their partners. It's alright if your lover asks family members about your childhood, but if he/she carries out online searches or seeks out friends for detailed interviews you should get worried. This can get creepy and it's best to get out of such a relationship.

Making mountains of molehills
When you are in a relationship with an obsessive partner you may find that he/she turns small issues into big fights. The most common fights are generally over a partner's possessiveness. He/she may tell you not to speak to certain friends or ex-lovers. If you go somewhere without informing him/her, it may turn into a major argument. Initially it may, just seem as if your partner is jealous, but you will realise that his/her behaviour is something more serious.

Breaking-up
A break-up is a painful thing for almost all couples but for an obsessive partner it is almost fatal. Most obsessive partners get even more emotional and passionate when relationships end. He/she may still call often and tell you how much he/she misses you. Sometimes they may stalk you and want to know about whom you are dating and where you are going. The best thing you can do in such a case is to suggest counselling before they hurt you or themselves. Obsession can be a bad mental illness, so it shouldn't be taken lightly.

Source: http://www.love-lectures.com/articles/obsessive_love_relationship.html

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